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Closet Gay Cock Sucker

If you asked me if I was gay, I would tell you vehemently that I was not gay. But…I think I am. I don’t really want to be because it complicates my life, but I can’t help what I feel. I have always liked men more than women; even though I understood that it wasn’t like that for most men. By the time I was in college, I had accepted that I was probably gay, but I decided that no one needed to know it but me. So I went through college very quietly. I dated a few girls, but of course nothing came of it. After I graduated, I settled into a good job in a city far away from my hometown and decided to see if I could discreetly do something for my personal life. But I have to admit that it terrified that someone I knew would see me and out me to everyone in my life. So I did some research on the net and also made some inquiries on some web boards. With the information I had gathered, I made a few phone calls and soon I was meeting with my Mistress for the first time.

I Needed Someone Else To Be In Control

I’m a person who likes to be in control, but I knew that with my attitude I wouldn’t ever have a date if I didn’t put the control in someone else’s hands. So my first meeting with my Mistress consisted of admitting to another person that I was gay for the first time. I felt so liberated, yet I was also terrified that I had somehow taken a step into the unknown and could never go back. But I knew that I had to do something. So I gave her control. I have to say that she taught me many things. My Mistress helped me loosen up quite a bit. She had me dress in drag, which wasn’t something that I wanted to explore, but I did enjoy the experience. Anyway, I was all dressed up in women’s clothes and my Mistress made me go to a gay bar with her. She assured me that it was just to look around, but not to do anything really serious. I enjoyed it after I saw that no one I knew from work or the other parts of my life were there to see me. I’ve also gone to gay parades and other events that would give me a chance to be in the gay community. My Mistress didn’t leave me alone though. I’m glad that she never left my side on our outings.

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She Convinced Me To Do What I Really Wanted

Since then, I have been a guest at her “mixers” as she calls them. These are parties where her various friends get together to have fun without fear of retribution or discovery. This was where I sucked my first cock. God what a fucking fantastic night that was! (No pun intended, of course!) I saw this guy staring at me and after a minute he came over to me and said that I was the one for him tonight. I was stunned into silence. Then he took my hand and led me to one of the spare bedrooms. We didn’t even exchange names. He did tell me to relax a bit. My cock was throbbing and I could barely think. But it was like we both knew what we were there for and just went for it. We started kissing and feeling each other. I loved the feel of his body under my hands. I was so excited that I forgot to be nervous. Let’s just say that a good time was had by all. It turned out that he knew this was my first time to suck cock and had volunteered to be with me. I was really grateful for his kindness and patience, but I got really good at it quickly, so I had him moaning like a pro by the end of the night. And he gave as good as he got, by the way. It felt incredible and I was immediately addicted to cock. Sucking cock or having mine sucked, it didn’t matter. I love both.

After that night, I have enjoyed many such encounters. My Mistress makes sure that I have opportunities for evening with men that are anonymous and therefore safe for me to be myself. Maybe one day I will try for something more permanent, but for now an occasionally cock sucking session at a secure location that is set up by my Mistress is fine with me.

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